Top 65 NASA Excuses for Breaking Tether From Shuttle

• Overwhelming desire to say: "Houston, we have a problem."
• Forgot to tie a knot on the end of it.
• Not enough duct tape due to budget cuts.
• O.J with a space suit.
• Calculations for string tension capability done by old Pentium Processor.
• Shoestring Budgets.
• Hal felt that the mission was in jeopardy....
• Tether? What tether?
• That damn kite string from K-Mart.
• Another malfunction in the Holodeck computer.
• Like all cheap yo-yos, the string broke as they tried "around the world."
• "Made in Taiwan"
• Crew watched 'Free Willy' the night before.
• Figures, the warranty had just expired.
• No Tom Hanks to save the day.
• Needed Insurance Money, too long since last disaster.
• Misdirected light rays focused by Hubble telescope mirror accidentally melted tether.
• To keep UFO's research funding.
• Correction, Standby for Scheduled Tether Acquisition Event.
• Dan Quayle is no longer there to look after things.
• The tether cable was made with union labor (too many coffee breaks!)
• The Real Killers are on board.
• The Klingons attacked us!
• I have no specific recollection of that incident. -- Hillary
• Childhood trauma involving an umbilical cord
• Houston: "ahhh..attention, crew...we DIDN'T say `SIMON SAYS!'
• Didn't quite understand the "String Theory"
• Forgot to pack the inanimate carbon rod.
• "What do you mean excuses? It was a uncalculated incident"
• Engineers get really bored sometimes.
• Shoulda used hemp!
• Mikey did it.
• Shuttle spool operator overcome by bout of SPACE MADNESS!
• Isn't "breaking tether" a NASA euphemism for "breaking wind"
• Spent too much on hookers, not enough on tether.
• Needed a reason for another shuttle mission.
• NASA had an urge to see what a man made probe looks like burning up!
• Hey, those are the risks you take. Bungie cords are DANGEROUS!
• It was a failed conspiracy; the astronauts thought the budget-cutting NASA administrator was at the other end.
• Shouldn't have used silly string
• The computer on the shuttle was playing Minesweeper and needs all resources!
• I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I don't know what happened. Perhaps if you uninstalled Windows 95 from my operating system, I would be able to be more helpful.
• Uhh...supergirl flew past a window and we all forgot the mission
• Ran out of shoelaces
• The shop had run out so we had to substitute Skoda spare parts.
• Junior astronaut insisted he play with the "yo-yo"
• Clearly marked on box: "Microsoft Tether 1.0"
• Hey, this tether isn't steel wire...it's angel hair pasta
• Wacky aliens playing a joke
• Parts Supplied by Lowest Bidder
• Somebody left a Ginsu knife in the cargo bay.
• It was chewed on by a space dog
• Hey guys, check this out! It keeps going and going...
• The crew were distracted by looking for hidden candies within the Space Shuttle instrument consoles.
• The NASA crew suddenly developed an urgent need to behave like budgies and parakeets.
• Astronaut was space skiing off back of shuttle
• The answer can be found at Area 51.

Back to my home page

Last updated May 13, 1996